- Mon Aug 21, 2017 8:10:31 am
#9071
Now that I know where the game started to turn on me, let's do it.
It leaves a really bad taste in my mouth to know that an innocent comment started it all. And the way it went down makes me sick. I've been thinking about my downfall in the last few days and I accepted it. Saw my mistakes, realized what I should've done differently, I was fine with leaving because I couldn't adapt to the season's theme. But the recent news changes a lot.
I think pre-merge I was on top of everything. I told Danimal around that time that it's my best game ever. I stand by it. I had a lot of alliances, I was on good terms with everyone, it was all going great. I laid low for 2 rounds and this is where I started slipping. You can go and read my confessionals, it's a big difference in focus, attitude, grasp on the game and everything that matters between merge day 1 and the day of my blindside. I had the same problem in Portugal and I could never recover from it, and I think it comes down to 2 reasons: first, having a crazy schedule and very little sleep isn't easy. I was a lot calmer now than in Portugal, but it's clear that I can only handle two weeks of this. I had a lot of days with no sleep during this game, trying to manage Stranded, my job and my social life (my social life took a serious hit, for the record). The second reason is, I think, the fact that I can't go at 50% or 75%. I have to be at full speed all the time. I'm always doing great when I give everything to the game, but I struggle when I try to take a step back.
I stand by my decision to vote out Brenda. I had a plan and I thought it was a good one. I was never afraid of being THE threat, that was what I wanted. I wanted to step back again for one round, have an easy vote, and then I wanted to take over the game and never let go. I was very confident in my ability to dominate - I have a good track record and nobody in this cast scared me after Brenda left. I had Rory, who promised me his loyalty, and I wanted to make a final tribal deal with him. I had Lily, who was a free agent for a while, and I think she wanted to play with me too. And my plan was to turn Cass and Rudy against each other; if you go back to read PMs you can see that the groundwork was there. What made me so confident was the fact that I never expected Andrea to turn on me so early. I knew that if anyone wanted to make a move against me, they would need her on board. I could see her trying to cut me around F6/5, but not earlier. It was impossible for me to see it coming, being triggered by an emotional reason that, honestly, shouldn't be a reason. It was risky, but I 100% believed I could pull it off. Didn't work. It happens. I don't regret playing the way I played. I have too much respect for the game and too much pride to be a floater.
Jury now. I have never been a bitter juror. When I'm voted out, I just relax and root for my favorites/friends. I always blame myself when I don't succeed. The worst it got so far, in my previous games, was when I'd have an argument with another juror or asking some dick-ish question at FTC. This time it's different. I can't get over it. I am EXTREMELY upset over what happened, and I will spend the rest of my Ponderosa days trying to turn everyone against Andrea. And you know, what pisses me off so much... it's not that people have the wrong idea about me - I've said a lot of insensitive things in the past and never gave a fuck if others were upset. I'm mad because this time I'm completely innocent. I tried a lot to make Andrea comfortable with me - it wasn't easy, lol - and she was driving me crazy many times. She had no right, no reason to do what she did. I can't stand people like her. Two faced. Hypocrites. I never accept them in my personal life and it's not different here. I don't care if you're all going to hate me for it when this ends. I will never accept someone behaving that way while pretending to be the biggest sweetheart in the world.
Last episode of The Vytas Show. I was hoping I'd get a win to end it, oops. I had a lot of fun in my 3 seasons, I know that you had a lot of fun watching me.
Love,
Vytas
It leaves a really bad taste in my mouth to know that an innocent comment started it all. And the way it went down makes me sick. I've been thinking about my downfall in the last few days and I accepted it. Saw my mistakes, realized what I should've done differently, I was fine with leaving because I couldn't adapt to the season's theme. But the recent news changes a lot.
I think pre-merge I was on top of everything. I told Danimal around that time that it's my best game ever. I stand by it. I had a lot of alliances, I was on good terms with everyone, it was all going great. I laid low for 2 rounds and this is where I started slipping. You can go and read my confessionals, it's a big difference in focus, attitude, grasp on the game and everything that matters between merge day 1 and the day of my blindside. I had the same problem in Portugal and I could never recover from it, and I think it comes down to 2 reasons: first, having a crazy schedule and very little sleep isn't easy. I was a lot calmer now than in Portugal, but it's clear that I can only handle two weeks of this. I had a lot of days with no sleep during this game, trying to manage Stranded, my job and my social life (my social life took a serious hit, for the record). The second reason is, I think, the fact that I can't go at 50% or 75%. I have to be at full speed all the time. I'm always doing great when I give everything to the game, but I struggle when I try to take a step back.
I stand by my decision to vote out Brenda. I had a plan and I thought it was a good one. I was never afraid of being THE threat, that was what I wanted. I wanted to step back again for one round, have an easy vote, and then I wanted to take over the game and never let go. I was very confident in my ability to dominate - I have a good track record and nobody in this cast scared me after Brenda left. I had Rory, who promised me his loyalty, and I wanted to make a final tribal deal with him. I had Lily, who was a free agent for a while, and I think she wanted to play with me too. And my plan was to turn Cass and Rudy against each other; if you go back to read PMs you can see that the groundwork was there. What made me so confident was the fact that I never expected Andrea to turn on me so early. I knew that if anyone wanted to make a move against me, they would need her on board. I could see her trying to cut me around F6/5, but not earlier. It was impossible for me to see it coming, being triggered by an emotional reason that, honestly, shouldn't be a reason. It was risky, but I 100% believed I could pull it off. Didn't work. It happens. I don't regret playing the way I played. I have too much respect for the game and too much pride to be a floater.
Jury now. I have never been a bitter juror. When I'm voted out, I just relax and root for my favorites/friends. I always blame myself when I don't succeed. The worst it got so far, in my previous games, was when I'd have an argument with another juror or asking some dick-ish question at FTC. This time it's different. I can't get over it. I am EXTREMELY upset over what happened, and I will spend the rest of my Ponderosa days trying to turn everyone against Andrea. And you know, what pisses me off so much... it's not that people have the wrong idea about me - I've said a lot of insensitive things in the past and never gave a fuck if others were upset. I'm mad because this time I'm completely innocent. I tried a lot to make Andrea comfortable with me - it wasn't easy, lol - and she was driving me crazy many times. She had no right, no reason to do what she did. I can't stand people like her. Two faced. Hypocrites. I never accept them in my personal life and it's not different here. I don't care if you're all going to hate me for it when this ends. I will never accept someone behaving that way while pretending to be the biggest sweetheart in the world.
Last episode of The Vytas Show. I was hoping I'd get a win to end it, oops. I had a lot of fun in my 3 seasons, I know that you had a lot of fun watching me.
Love,
Vytas
