Stranded for Revenge

So after three idols being shown at the last tribal council and a major threat taken out of the game, do you think that the game is ready to get underway? What are you doing to try to ensure that you are there at Day 39 in front of a jury wanting to vote for you?

I'm currently up in the clouds, both literally and figuratively, so I thought I'd take opportunity to post a very long, very overdue confessional. I'll try to detail my thought process during the past two votes, and moving into this one, though you'd probably do better extracting the real nuggets of truth from my messages to other people (and let's be real, you're probably monitoring that anyway). But in case there's any confusion, here is Cassandra "Fat Cass" Franklin: The Untold Story.

Emotion of the Ocean: A Post-Wiglesworth World

Wigles' boot tribal. We all saw it. We all loved it. We all hated how much we loved it. We all hated Wigles. Honestly, I thought Wigles' meltdown was hilarious. For someone whose entire arc this season consisted of such hits as "What the Fuck Is She Thinking?", "Is She Really That Clueless?", and of course, "Did She Really Think That Would Work?", what better way to end the tale?

Then there were the people who were more invested in how fucked up what she was doing was. Admittedly, yes, it was, but I was more interested in how she was leaving 1) as the first person on the jury, 2) with such a negative impression of these people, and 3) with such a (probably) positive impression of me, even though I arguably the most active in getting her out. But anyway, these moralists were Sarah, Andrea, and to a lesser extent Rudy, Brenda, and Lil. So I made sure to make my rounds there about how fucked up what Wigles said was, meanwhile sending a comedic "ruh roh!" Vytas' way. I expect most everyone did this sort of thing, but it definitely helped cement my relationship with Andrea, who noted Vytas' lack of empathy in the situation. And for someone who ties strategy to emotion so firmly, that's key.

Yawn: The Departure of a Non-Entity

After extending the "feeling sorry for Mia" talks as far as they would go, Andrea pitched Katie as the next boot to me. I was leaning more toward Sarah and Lil because I thought Rudy and Yul would object to Katie, but I remembered! I remembered how I was voted out last time for being too stubborn. So I went with Katie, and really it's just fucking Katie so who cares. Turns out Yul and Rudy didn't object, but they (mostly Rudy) were a little antsy to make a move next round, and I told them we'd make it happen.

Around this time a COUPLE groups were made. One was me/Ozzy/Brenda/Vytas/Andrea, which, weirdly enough, Ozzy pitched. The other was a group chat randomly started by Katie consisting of me, Rory, Rudy, Yul, Ozzy, and *record scratch* Lil?? The only message was "So do we want to vote Mia or Brenda?" Wasn't hard to pound in the "idk where her loyalties lie" line after that premature ejaculation of hers.

About an hour before tribal, though, Yul and Rudy were a little confused, and thought it might be a go for Mia. I assured them (+ Rory) that it wasn't, Rory still votes Mia anyway but he was honest with me, Yul/Rudy switch to Katie, Katie goes home. Dope. Solid. Except that...oh no! They posted in the group chat that they were down for Mia already! Such amateurs! So Lil supposedly leaked the info that they were on the fence to Andrea, who told it back to Rudy. To quote an excellent player, "Burned that bridge."

Ding! Oven's Ready

And the dish is roasted Mia.

Talking to Brenda a little before Katie's boot, she's worried and I assure her that if an idol is played the votes will go to Mia. She points out how that wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, as it would make the thing with me/Ozzy/Vytas/Andrea cleaner.

So after Katie dies, I pull the ol' Talk to Andrea move. Classic. She's had problems with Mia in the past, you can check our PM history, I milked it, basically she and I are fucking on Mia's corpse when that bitch kicks the bucket. I ask what she thinks of a Mia boot and she's down before I even explain. I ask Rudy about it, he's down. I PM Ozzy and Vytas, they're both down. Great, just need Brenda, my #1 strategy partner who can do me no wrong in this ever-changing world in which we live in [sic]. Time for bed zzzzzzzz

INTERMISSION

Ladies and gentlemen, please observe, if you can believe your eyes, a man, allied with a woman, THROWN under the bus...by that very woman:

so andrea tells me that vytas isn't down for mia and wants a thing with him/her/andrea/lily/sarah/rory because they're the biggest goats in the game and andrea is like TOTALLY not down and she's sending me all these quotes by him about how slimy he is and it's like so gross like i can't even

We now return to our feature presentation.

Crazy Overnight? It Can Happen to You!

And here it is. The downfall of the Homecoming Queen. I wake up. People are down for Mia. Good. I get in the car to drive to my flight, like a nice functioning member of white America. Oh lookie there! A Private Message from one Brenda Lowe. This can only mean good news.

[insert It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode title gag saying, "Brenda Wants to Vote Out Lil]

Dang, okay, well, no matter. Mia is clearly the better choice here:
- she's able to shield Brenda for all of one more round (that one) before people realize that she doesn't actually have that much influence
- her leaving would make the thing with Ozzy much cleaner
- Brenda voting for her would demonstrate that she's willing to turn on the Blues
- everyone else would clearly be down, considering how the votes almost went last night
- she's never fucking online so she can't scramble last minute
- voting Lil makes her threat bigger because it seems like she's targeting anyone who floats her name
Well, I got a flight to catch. She'll come around!

[cue 4 hours of flight sound effects]

Okay, and we're landed! And you know what hasn't landed? My pitch to Brenda! Ruh roh!

Brenda thinks for some reason that Lil was gunning for her hardcore, AND she's saying that Vytas is staunchly against voting for Mia.

Here's where Andrea tells me that Vytas is accusing me of lying to him about Yul and Rudy being on board to vote Mia. Too bad I literally never mentioned their names to you. (Oh yeah, and he's taking credit for Katie leaving around this time too.)

So I confront Brenda about Vytas saying different things to us, and ask why she thinks Lil was gunning for her. Her answers are, respectively, that he was trying to look more willing to vote Mia than he was, and that Lil went for her in the group chat Katie started. I can believe the first one. The second is ass-backwards retarded. I correct her, saying if anything Yul and Rudy were the ones on the fence (and even then, only to vote Mia, not her), and tell her that Rudy told Mia that Blue was gunning for her.

Her response? "hmm lol well it's too late to change it now" (see: my rage-motivated confessional of earlier)

I tell Sarah to tip off Lil to play an idol if she has one, and then you get that tribal.

But oh, looks like Vytas beat me to the punch! Doesn't matter, because I get brownie points with Sarah and Lil without exposing myself and having to explain everything. But I am pissed that he'll get credited for it, because he did execute it more concretely. But he was sloppy! Ruh roh! He didn't let Andrea know until the last second, and she didn't change her vote. She wants him GONEZO!!

Tonight: A Tour de Force de Majeur Oui Oui

I message Lil immediately after tribal telling her how happy I am that Brenda left because she was trying to strong arm the vote. She says she loves me and that she heard about my message to Sarah (NICE) and that she wants to work together going forward.

Then Andrea says she's down to blindside Vytas.

Then Vytas wants to make a group chat with me/Ozzy/Andrea.

Then Lil wants to make a group chat with me and Ozzy.

Then I get a MOTHERFUCKING IDOL FROM BRENDA WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK

I don't know how she knew she was going but if you're reading this BRENDA I LOVE YOU!!! ICON MOTHERFUCKING UNDERSCORE WUB

Oh, and I still got that fake in my back pocket (though maybe some edits will have to be made now that I know what a real HII looks like).

So I'm guessing Brenda's a guaranteed vote for me when I get to FTC. Yes, that's "when," not "if." Good thing I was honest in telling her it was a bad move.

I have a fucking lot in my arsenal this round. Andrea and I talked about a Vytas blindside a little. Don't know how likely that is anymore, but it's very promising that she was so for it. It's looking more like Mia this vote, though. Yul/Rudy/Ozzy would probably all be down. Rory would definitely be down. And now Vytas wants to murder her for voting Rory in that tribal. Like, who fucking cares? But sure, I'll use that to my advantage. Easier to swing with Lil too, especially if she's doing recon on me and Ozzy for him.

Long-term plans, not the most fleshed out, are looking like:
- Mia vote
- me/Yul/Rudy/Ozzy/Andrea/maybe Rory blindside Vytas
- convince people to separate Yul and Rudy
- convince people Ozzy's comeback story is very threatening, plus he could have an idol
- hit Andrea at F5 or so (everyone will realize she's the biggest threat to win by then)
- go to the end with a combination of Rory, Yul, Sarah, and Lil (maybe not Lil after last night's play but we'll see)

Well...that was self-indulgent. Hope you're all on the edges of your seats!

Hey Cass!

Thanks for breaking this up into acts like a play. It appeals to my sensitive side.

Question for you:

when you say "convince people to separate Yul and Rudy" and "convince people Ozzy's comeback story is very threatening" who are you convincing here? Who do you think you'll be able to get to turn the vote on those people?

Joaquin Souberbielle wrote:Hey Cass!

Thanks for breaking this up into acts like a play. It appeals to my sensitive side.

Question for you:

when you say "convince people to separate Yul and Rudy" and "convince people Ozzy's comeback story is very threatening" who are you convincing here? Who do you think you'll be able to get to turn the vote on those people?

I think Andrea would definitely do it. I think Lil is still playing to win no matter what other people think, and even Sarah is. I get what you're saying--why would Sarah and Lil be down if I advertise it like that? Because the way I'd advertise it is:
- they've been a pair since the first round
- rudy is a definite threat to win, and even if yul isn't you know they're taking each other
- unlike you, they were in the minority at the merge, so it's also a comeback story

But hold up, plans are getting CHANGED, buddy!
Andrea is super fucking hyped for a Vytas blindside RIGHT NOW. She wants a 5-3-2 split, where Vytas/Rory vote Mia, Mia/Sarah/Lil vote Rory, and Andrea/Ozzy/Yul/Rudy/I vote Vytas. Right off the bat that's more people than I've ever let out of the know of a vote, so I'm worried. I'm also worried that Vytas is maybe the only real shield to me and Andrea, which I told her, but she thinks we don't need him. When someone like Andrea is this fucking pumped about voting out an ally, you don't really want to wait another round. It'll die down.

That changes everything, though. Everything!!! Kind of. During deliberation with Andrea, she mentioned how Brenda didn't trust her enough to give her her idol (I guess it's common knowledge those are just transferable after you're voted out? Explains Sarah getting Courtney's, I guess). I rolled with that and said maybe the person she was so desperately trying to save last round got it. So that might be a motivation to vote Mia later on, despite her not really being a threat. Rudy/Yul also want one of Sarah/Lil gone next round, which is fine by me. Andrea wanted to take Yul/Rudy/Ozzy to Final 5, which is...just a really terrible plan, because we'd be fucked, but I'll convince her out of that before that comes.

I'm really hesitant but I'm gonna go along with this Vytas blindside. Andrea will get credit, and rightfully so, but I also deserve credit for turning her on him. So maybe when I send her to the jury she'll vouch for me.

yooooooo check out what Ozzy just showed me:

It's his """fake""" idol. No, but really, it probably is fake. Lil just used the Shentu one last night, judging by the color. And the font for "HIDDEN" is a little too wide. But I am highly suspect that Wigles made it like he claims.

Kinda annoyed that he got the idea after me, and I might not even get a chance to use mine, but eh. Doesn't hurt.

Meanwhile, we're gonna do damage control with Lil (and on my part, Mia) by saying that Vytas tried to change the vote to Mia last minute and Andrea got pissed and wanted to Brenda him. They'll see his and Rory's votes for Mia and believe it. Maybe.